So I’m sorry the blog has been sorely neglected. I have reasons, I promise. GOOD FREAKIN’ REASONS.
Some are less cool than others –
I have four classes this semester. They all think we’re dating exclusively and I have nothing else going on in my life.
Some are beyond cool, like… my baby is distractingly cute:
The query trenches had made my writing life feel kind of like one of those relationships where you think the guy is going to do something sweet and amazing, but then he leaves you standing on a street corner all alone, feeling kind of defeated.
“You know when you get to that point where your dreams start to look stupid? I’m feeling that way right now. I’m the person who shows up to American Idol with my album cover layout in mind but with no idea that I can’t sing…”
…I’m going to pull the curtain on that would’ve-been blog post now, because it gets very sixteen year-old me/unrequited love/angsty teenager very fast, and I like to pretend that I left that incubator of melodrama on the steps of San Dimas High School.
Bottom line? I felt like I hit a wall. Spent lots of time curled up in the fetal position under my covers. Full requests and rejections came in like staggered waves, making it so neither despair nor elation could last long. I was up, I was down. In other words, I was my regular self plus a frantic inbox-refreshing compulsion. It was charming, and I have a picture to prove it:
My poor family. My poor husband – no man should have to be around his wife when she’s acting as though she’s been dumped. It’s weird. But that’s how it felt, sometimes: like my dreams were like “it’s not you, it’s me”.
And then, I got an email from an agent that I’d always considered a long-shot. Carrie Howland is from Donadio & Olson, an amazing agency. (They rep Chuck Palahniuk – FIGHT CLUB. THEY REP FIGHT CLUB – among so many others).
And then I sat there like this for about a week. Maybe a week.
And I was lying on my bed when I saw someone on twitter mentioning their “frantically refreshing inbox” habit. It reminded me that I hadn’t checked my inbox in six minutes and I chastised myself for slacking off. THIS IS THE BIG LEAGUES, BLAIR. REFRESH EVERY THREE MINUTES OR GO HOME.
So I refreshed my inbox, and I had a message from Carrie. My heart did like… three somersaults. Ross walked in then and looked over my shoulder. He stopped when he saw the unread email just chillin’ at the top of my inbox like “oh, hey – what’s up?”, and I fully put my open hand on his face and pushed him back. I feared it might be a “this is great, but not for me”, email – and I didn’t want him reading that over my shoulder. But something in my gut told me that it wasn’t a rejection.
Now let’s take a second to let that sink in. I was expected to sit through a three hour-long
But I made it – and before I knew it, I was on the phone with Carrie.
And let me tell you? She was not the type of agent that oozed over how absolutely perfect the manuscript was. She was kind, of course – fantastically kind – but she didn’t lie to me. I have a LOT of work to do. Several rounds of revisions. It’s going to take a while to make it ready to send to editors. However…
…she liked it, and I was floored. After telling me to really go and think about how much work I’d be signing up for, she told me she would love to work on it.
Which is great, because I am more than loving the fact that she would love to work on it. So much, in fact, that I accepted her offer this morning and now it is official. I have an agent.
So what does this mean? It means I revise my little tuckus off and I keep revising until Carrie and Susan (her amazing assistant that gave me FABULOUS notes) tell me to stop. And then we go on submission to try and find the manuscript a publishing home.
I am so thankful. Thankful for a husband that lifted me up when I wanted to give up and for a family that told me to “GO WRITE.” After months of praying for God to guide me, I feel as though I am exactly where I need to be. Well, not literally. I’m sitting on my couch all curled up watching House of Cards. Where I literally need to be is at Coffee Klatch, my butt in a chair, doing some revisions. Because it’s the big leagues, ladies and gents.